Prompt: #173 by bloodstrom
Summary: Ron’s reaction to a Draco/Harry relationship.
Character(s)/Pairing(s): Draco/Harry, Ron POV.
Warnings: Some strong language.
Word Count: 1,440 words
Disclaimer: These characters do not belong to me. Don’t sue.
Author’s Note: I’m so sorry – it turned out pg13, only 1,440 words, and entirely from Ron’s point of view. I hope you enjoy it anyway. :) I’ve provided a link to the prompt rather than the prompt itself as it would give away most of the plot. This takes place while the characters are still in Hogwarts. Beta: The wonderful talekayler! Thank you. ♥
Ron just couldn’t let Harry make this big of a mistake. He was his best mate, after all. It was up to him to look out for Harry’s best interests. And Malfoy wasn’t in Harry’s best interest.
It had started with some class project or other. Ron wasn’t sure what. All he remembered was Hermione beginning one of her “educational discussions” – also known as another long-winded rant Ron wished he was too busy playing Quidditch to have to hear (Ron’s pretty sure she’s practicing intense lectures for when she becomes some kind of professor someday. He’s seen her scribbling notes afterward and mumbling about “improving her technique.”) – only, this time she was aiming her discussion at Harry; he used the opportunity to pay less attention to the conversation, but Ron was certain he got the gist of it: “work with Malfoy”, “cooperation”, “can’t let this affect your scores”, “house unity”, and “leadership skills.” Clearly, Hermione was encouraging Harry to get along with Malfoy for the sake of some project for a class he didn’t share with Ron.
That’s probably how Malfoy got to him. Harry was vulnerable without Ron by his side to keep an eye out for any Slytherin schemes while Harry took down the notes for the lesson. He was probably distracted by the lesson and with Hermione’s words in his head, pushing him to “make more of an effort,” so he didn’t notice that he had fallen for another of Malfoy’s tricks. That’s what you get for trying to give more than the minimum effort required to your studies. Look at Percy! He’s the perfect example!
Anyway, next thing Ron knew, he was bumping into Harry while he was attached to Malfoy’s face! They had gone beyond making out and into full on heavy petting; there was writhing. They were sticking out at the edge of an alcove and into the corridor. They couldn’t even wait to go all the way into the alcove and start kissing behind the convenient statue!
“Blimey, Harry! What in the fuck--,“ His mother definitely would not approve of the language, but Ron felt the situation called for it.
Harry jumps to explain that he and Malfoy are in a relationship now. A relationship, he says! And that he was planning to tell Ron and Hermione anytime now but got distracted - at which point Harry throws Malfoy a sickeningly sappy look and Malfoy drapes an arm around Harry while smirking at Ron.
After he drags Harry to where Hermione is, so they can get started on undoing whatever Malfoy has done, Harry tells her the news. At first, Hermione is flabbergasted and Ron thinks he’ll have someone to commiserate with over this latest nonsense, but that thought dissolves as Hermione quickly becomes enthusiastic, exclaiming over how “it explains so much,” going on about her precious “house unity,” and declaring herself “happy” for him. What?
Well, as Hermione says Harry’s not been subjected to any potions, poisons, enchantments, hexes, spells, or any influential magic at all, it’s up to Ron to break them up the conventional way.
He starts off simple, sending Malfoy a Howler from a fake lover. Surely, Harry will dump that slimy Slytherin for using him as his bit on the side and that’s just the type of thing Malfoy would do.
But it backfires.
The whole of the dining masses of the Great Hall have heard, including Harry. And yet, instead of storming angrily over to Malfoy, Harry just turns to Ron in exasperation. “Really, Ron? I was there with you when Fred and George showed us that from their new collection of products.” He shakes his head and laughs it off.
Malfoy chooses that moment to sidle up and spout reassurances to Harry that none of it’s true and that he’s “the only one.” Of course, Harry looks besotted and drags Malfoy off to the Room of Requirement, where he can “be reassured more thoroughly.” Ugh, that was more than Ron ever wanted to know. Harry couldn’t have waited until they were out of the room to say that?
He figures Malfoy for the jealous sort and is sure that if he caught Harry in a compromising position with someone else, he’d likely do the rest of the work for Ron and break up with Harry himself. Malfoys are prideful that way.
So he gets Seamus, who owes him a favor, to help him get Harry and Terry Boot – the only other gay Hogwarts student he knows of – trapped in a closet together for Malfoy to discover.
Only when Malfoy opens the closet door, it’s not to a compromising position.
Terry had his school bag with him when he had gotten locked in, so he was sitting cross-legged against one wall of the closet and holding up his lighted wand while he scribbled away at his homework assignments.
Harry sat sprawled against the other wall, twirling his wand, and looking generally bored out of his mind.
He is ecstatic and relieved to see Malfoy, throwing himself at him with an exuberant, “Draco!” There’s kissing. And moaning. And, after all that, Malfoy just seems amused.
This entire Operation: End Harry And Malfoy’s Farce Of A Relationship thing isn’t going very well for Ron. He hates to admit it, but Ron’s starting to think he’s awful at this.
Get Malfoy physically stuck to Pansy, who seems to share in Ron’s dislike of this new relationship, and who will undoubtedly convince Malfoy to bring a swift end to this utterly bizarre turn of events.
Ron’s gotten a hold of this adhesive glue-like substance. It’s not quite a potion or a paste – more of a jam-like consistency. He’s read all of the instructions and he still manages to bollocks it up.
Ron himself ends up stuck to Malfoy.
And what’s worse is that while they’re both stuck in the infirmary glaring at each other and getting unstuck by Madam Pomfrey, their classmates have all been paired up, leaving them partners for a new assignment.
Hermione thinks it’s hilarious; it’s just what he deserved for scheming against his best friend’s relationship. “Ron, their relationship is fragile right now. It’s new and they’re still learning to trust and confide in each other,” she says, as if she’s some type of expert on relationships. “There will be no more interfering from you! You should be showing Harry some support right now. Take this opportunity to learn more about Draco and settle your differences. Perhaps even mature while you’re at it,” she frowns at him.
Draco? She’s calling him Draco now?
Ron grumbles a bit, but behaves for the most part the next day when Malfoy and he work on their assignment together. Malfoy does most of the work and, surprisingly, doesn’t complain about it.
When they’re almost finished, though, Malfoy sighs and glances over at Harry on the other side of the room. Harry notices right away – he’s been watching their table like a hawk – and gives a bright smile before nodding encouragingly at Malfoy, who looks like he’s steeling himself for something. Oh, no. What now?
Malfoy turns to him and says, “It’s not a trick. I’m not pulling anything. I really do love Harry.”
Ron can’t believe what he’s hearing. Malfoy’s trying to make nice with him? “Bull,” he says. “You’ve been an utter shit to Harry since the beginning. What makes you think I’d believe you’ve changed your tune now?”
Malfoy seems reluctant to continue and a bit exasperated. Why has everyone been so exasperated with him lately?
“Not since the beginning. Just… after he chose you as his friend, over me,” Malfoy begrudges. “I might, possibly, have become emotional and overreacted, wanting both revenge and to get his attention from then on. …Possibly.”
Wait. What? Ron laughs, “You mean you were jealous of me? Ha!“ Ron goes on to laugh some more. This is priceless. Malfoy jealous of him. Wait 'til he tells everybody. He's going to hold this over Malfoy for the rest of his life!
Okay, Ron admits. This does explain a lot. After all, if Malfoy was really out to get Harry for Voldemort and because he’s an evil git, his plans would have probably been less stupid. Because really, they always backfired, getting Malfoy in trouble, and tended to be rash or spur of the moment rather than well thought out. He was a bit of a hothead, really. Weren’t Slytherins supposed to be cunning?
Ron smirks and agrees to stop plotting against them. “But I’m not calling you Draco.”
Harry has never looked happier.
…Well, at least they’ve settled into warm glances rather than that sappy gazing. Ugh.