Summary: With a kiss on the forehead and a glance over her shoulder Hermione headed home knowing that her friend was going to ok. After all, he had a beautiful guardian angel to light is way. Slash,mention of Mpreg and Character Death.
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of it's characters. I will not profit from this story.
Warnings: Slash, Mpreg implied (Harry) and character death! You've been warned.
The Guardian Angel
The wind around them was picking up. The force of it, sent the dry, fallen leafs of autumn hurling into the air and swirled them about. It looked like a small tornado of dead things being pulled into a different life. The irony of it all did not escape him.
The once bright, sunny sky had gone dark and a noticeable chill suddenly wrapped around them like an ice cold blanket, causing everyone in attendance to shiver. However, he himself could not feel the cold.
He couldn't really feel anything at all as he studied the now dark and angry clouds. He wondered if it was his magic that was causing such a dramatic shift in weather or if it was, in fact, mother nature herself that was the guilty party. He wasn't sure and even if he knew for certain, he couldn't find the strength to care.
He sat in the front row with family and friends surrounding him. All of them lost to their own grief and thoughts of the deceased, the man they had all come to pay their last respects to. A man that would be lost to him forever.
His chest constricted painfully at the thought.
Occasionally he would feel someone squeeze his shoulder as a show of support. While he could feel the eyes of several others staring a hole through him, wanting some form of eye contact to convey their condolences to him without words. Knowing this, he wouldn't dare lift his eyes to engage them. He didn't want to have to deal with their pain or acknowledge their sympathy because it was hard enough dealing with his own. Instead he focused on his children.
To his right, sat his eldest son, nine year old James. He was leaning against him with his head buried in his side, his shoulders shaking violently as he cried. The boy had dark hair just like himself and bright grey eyes that were usually filled with happiness and a hint of mischief. However, today there was no happiness to be found. All that remained was a child who was forced to understand loss and despair way too early in his short life. His heart ached for him. The loving father always promised himself that he would do anything to protect his children, but there was no way that he could protect him from this. He had to feel it and deal with it in his own way. All that he could do was hold him and whisper words of comfort.
To his left, mimicking his brothers actions, was his second oldest son Scorpius. At seven years old, he was already very intelligent and well on his way to being a potions master just like his farther and his uncle Severus. A fact Draco liked to rub in his face on a regular basis seeing as how he lacked any form of potion skills. His hair was blond and his eyes were grey just like his father and brother. Scorpius was always such a talkative child and not only with his own family and friends, but he wasn't afraid to go up to a complete stranger and strike up a conversation. However, he was also very aware of the fact that his darling boy could talk his way out of anything. He also had a gift for talking anyone into doing his will at the drop of a kunt. It was amazing. So much so that Lucius called him a future business man in the making, a great asset to the Malfoy name no doubt. Sadly, today was different. No words passed his lips, only sobs and low cries. He would do anything to take away his son's pain, but the only way to accomplish that would be to do the impossible.
He couldn't bring back the dead, no matter how much he wanted to.
On his lap, sat his baby girl Lily Narcissa. She was five years old with blond hair and big green eyes that they had both inherited from his late mother, her grandmother, Lily Evans-Potter . She was much like her brother Scorpius. Lily was cleaver, gifted in wandless magic from the very start and extremely independent, just like her Papa. The youngest Potter-Malfoy, was also spoiled something horrible by everyone who knew her but none more so than her father. She was the light of his life but then again, all of his children were.
Although Harry would always hold the number one position in his heart. Or at least that is what the blond would tell anyone who was willing to listen.
People were offering kind words and fond memories as light rain began to fall. No one was prepared for the change in weather but yet no one moved, they were all too numb. Instead they just listened to their fellow mourners speak and give tribute to the man that lay before them in an expensive casket made of solid cherry wood. The interior, was decorated with pictures of the man's family and a few very close friends like Blaise, Pansy and Theo. It was a tradition in their world. They say the dead needed pictures to be reminded of those they love, that way they will remember one another and find their way back to each other in the after life.
Harry prayed to whoever was listening that this was true as happier times flashed before his eyes. He bit his lip in order to keep from crying out. He didn't understand this. Had he not sacrificed enough in his short life? Why was fate such a cruel bitch to him? Didn't he deserve a life filled with love and peace without having to deal with any more loss? They had already taken his parents, his godfather, his mentor and a good chunk of his friends and now they wanted him too? Why couldn't they just have their happy ending and be left alone? Was that too much to ask from a universe that he had given so much to?
Tears clouded his vision as yet another person stood and made their way before the crowd to speak about the wonderful man that was gone from this world too soon. The mass of blond hair was unmistakable. The wizard with a heart of stone spoke about the child that he had loved and lost. He told them of his childhood and of all the horrible things he used to do for attention which made those in attendance laugh, at least those who knew him well enough to understand. He also spoke of how proud he was of him and how much he would miss him while telling the other parents in attendance to never take one moment with their child for granted. They never knew when it would be their last.
At first he sounded like his normal self. All important, aristocratic, pure-blooded and rich but after a while, his voice started to crack and he swayed a little on his feet. Soon the mask fell and grief took hold him. He paused and straightened himself up and tried to regain his composure but failed miserably. This surprised Harr, but then again maybe it wasn't so surprising. After all, it is said that sometimes even snakes feel the sting of their own venom. It just takes a bite to the heart in order for them to feel the burn.
Unable to continue, the man was helped back to his seat and lost himself, as well as all of those well defined Malfoy manners, in the arms of his equally inconsolable wife. The man who lead him there was his best friend and his son's godfather, Severus Snape. The man looked as he always had on any other day. He was dressed in black, his greasy hair was touching the base of his neck and his face lacked any trace of emotion. Today he may have looked the same but the tears streaming down his face was something new and unexpected.
A moment later he felt someone take his daughter from his arms and it took a second for him to notice but when he did, his head snapped up. When he looked around he saw that the crying girl had been placed in her grandfather's lap by his long time friend Hermione Granger-Wesley. She then turned back to him with red eyes and a small smile of encouragement as she offered him a hand and led him to the podium. He stood there for a moment and looked out into the crowd. Although he knew that they all meant well and were sad over such a loss, they couldn't possibly know what he was feeling.
He didn't just lose a friend, a child or a godson. He lost his partner, his best friend, his worst enemy, his soul mate, his lover, the father of his children, his everything and more. They weren't the ones that would suffer the most from this day forward. They didn't have to go through his clothes and deal with the pain of remembering every occasion that he wore them and how he would never ware them again. They didn't have to clean out his office or go through the holidays without him or cry alone on his birthday and during their anniversary. The people seated before him would be at home with their families as he witnessed his children's milestones by himself. Hermione would have Ron and Neville would have Luna as he would be forced to look to at the empty space next to him. Whenever he wanted to reminisce about their younger days with the man that should have been there with him through it all he would reminded that Draco was dead and that he would never fully know his children. They would never have to wake up to half a bed stacked with newspapers and books, trying desperately to fill the void that his dragon left behind. He was the one doomed to spend lonely days, nights, hours and minutes remembering and trying to let go over and over again.
His Draco, the person that he loved most in this world was gone.
The man had been shot dead on a business trip to the muggle world. Two drug addicts had found him there obviously looking for an easy target. They wanted money to get their next fix so they robbed him and took his life.
It was such an unnecessary and pointless death.
He knew his husband was smart. He knew that the blond would have given up the money (God knows they had enough of it) and would have promised not to speak a word to the authorities but that wasn't enough for those low life sons of bitches. Although he was glad that the case was an open and shut one and that the bastards were already in jail, it did nothing to ease his pain. He knew for certain that he would never be alright again and his husbands last moments would haunt him for the rest of his life.
"Thank you…" he said before pausing.
It was a great credit to his strength that he had gotten that much past his lips. He was finding it hard just to keep his legs from giving out and falling to the ground in despair. Hermione moved forward, as if knowing how he was feeling and held him firmly about the waist and shoulder. He was grateful to her for the support.
He took a deep breath and tried his best to continue.
"Thank you all for coming here today and helping the Malfoy family say goodbye to Draco. He would've been very happy to see that so many people cared for him and were willing to support his family during this most difficult time."
More tears fell from his eyes and his body suddenly felt weak. But he knew that he had to continue no matter how much it hurt.
"As most of you know, Draco and I started out on the worst of terms. He had presented his hand to me in friendship on our first day at Hogwarts but he reminded me so much of my horrible cousin that I rejected him without taking the time to get to know him. For many years after that we hated each other and fought almost every day. Until one day I made the horrible mistake of hexing him with a slashing curse that almost killed him. I still feel terrible about that till this very day but when I went to visit him that night and offer him an apology, we formed a truce and made a promise to each other that we would give friendship a try. After that, we went from friendship to so much more. We became best friends and then lovers who fought together side by side in a war that neither one of us wanted a part in. I remember being so scared that I was going to lose him. I begged him to stay out of it and hide out at one of his family's many estates until the war was over but he refused. He told me that he knew if the situation was reversed and he was the one to face such horrors that I would never leave his side to hide out. That I would fight right there beside him. He said that he wouldn't be a coward for me and I shouldn't ask him to be. He would much rather die by my side knowing that he did his best to protect me. That's how much he loved me. That even the fear of certain death couldn't tare him away."
He was now shaking with the urge to sink to his knees and weep until his eyes swelled shut but he couldn't. He had to get this off his chest. His children deserved to know how great a man their father was.
He steadied himself once more as he continued.
"After the war we got married. Two years later James was born. It was the first time that I saw Draco cry. He was so happy, we both were. That happiness only increased when Scorpius and Lily came along. You kids need to remember that your father loved you very much. He did not leave you by choice. If surviving what happened to him was at all possible, you can believe with all your heart that he would have fought to be here with you. Sadly, heaven needed him more. Do you remember the story father used to tell you about the angels?" He asked with his eyes focused on his children. They all nodded.
He smiled at them "Good, but there is something that I want you to remember and hold close to your hearts where ever you may go in this world. I need you to remember that you may have lost a father but you've gained a guardian angel who'll never leave your side. He will never grow old, he will never be too tired to listen to you or comfort you through the darkest of your days. He will always guide you and be the best friend that you will ever have. As for myself, it's never easy to lose your confidant, your lover, your friend, the father or your children and the one that holds your heart and soul within the palm of his hand. I love him and I will miss him for as long as I live. It is a pain that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy." He closed his eyes and took another breath.
Damn this was hard. But he had done good and it was almost over now. His children would be with their grandparents for a few days and then he would be able to deal with own grief more thoroughly. He just hoped that their home would still be standing by the time they returned.
He tried to ready himself to close his speech but it was proving to be way too difficult. The tears were coming harder and faster now. His shoulders slumped forward and his grip on the podium tightened to the point that his hands lost all color.
Just a few more seconds and it will all be over, he told himself. Then he would be free to seclude himself within the walls of his bedroom and hide under the covers after taking a few calming potions. He would then fall to sleep. Yes, he would get angry, blow things up, throw objects across the room and sleep. Then he would do the same thing again the next day between cleaning out Draco's personal effects and kissing his pictures a thousand times. Or perhaps he could drink himself to death.
"I know that there is a difficult road ahead of me and I will say and do a lot of things that won't make sense to anyone. I beg you all to understand that a week ago, a part of me died and it will never return again. Those of you who are close to me know that after today I will shut myself off for a while. It's during this time that I ask you to please be there for my children and be to them what I can not during my time of grief. "
He wanted to say a bit more but he couldn't. Instead he looked to Hermione and shook his head, signaling that he could speak no more. She then lead him down the stairs and back towards the front row of seats. As he passed the casket he kissed his fingers and touched it, wishing that he could crawl in there next to his husband, wrap himself and his body and breath life back into it. For all of his wishful thinking, Harry knew that there was nothing in this world that could bring Draco back.
Before sitting down, he took his daughter from her grandfather and held on to her tightly while his sons clung to him from both sides. As much as he wanted this to be some sort of nightmare their tears made it very real.
The pain in his heart was almost crippling.
Later on that night, he found himself sitting alone in front of the fireplace with a bottle of fire whiskey in on hand and a picture of himself and Draco in the other. The photograph had been taken the day of their wedding. Everything had been so perfect then. They were both happy and the world was a better place with the dark lord gone. They were supposed to raise their children together, travel the world together, grow old and cranky together, everything you expect out of a life lived with your spouse.
They were supposed to be together, forever. Draco had promised him forever, but alas it had been stolen from them.
They had only been given ten years of marriage. Ten wonderfully perfect years and then the blond had to go and die on him. Leaving him with three children to raise all on his own.
It wasn't right.
"Damn it; it's not fair Dray! It's not fucking fair. Why? Why did it have to be you? Why did you have to leave me here all alone. Can't you see how much I need you?"
Harry sobbed and cursed some more, damning Merlin or any other God whose decision it was to take Draco away from him.
Suddenly, in the mist of his personal storm, there was a loud pop.
Harry clenched his teeth and growled at Zippy, his house elf who trembled before him.
"Master Draco said to give you this upon his death Master Harry." The elf said extending his hand out. In his grasp, lay an envelope with his name on it in Draco's perfect script.
He put down the bottled and snatched it quickly out of his hand. The very same hand twitched in anticipation, for such a precious gift was inside. They were Draco's last words to him. The last words he would ever receive from his husband.
With unsteady hands he tore it open and unfolded the letter inside.
To my Dearest Harry,
If you're reading this, then fate has decided that my time here on earth is over and I am now separated from you and our children. Please know that it was not for lack of trying. You know that I would move heaven and earth to stay with you James, Scorpius and Lily forever, sadly it was not meant to be. I don't know how it will happen or when but there are a few things that I would like to say to you. Words that will be true whether spoken today or fifty years from now.
I love you Harry James Potter-Malfoy. You are the center of my world and always have been since the first day we met. I do not regret one single moment with you. Whether we were trying to kill each other or making love under the night sky (which you better not tell anyone about, I am a Malfoy after all and we have a reputation to uphold, exhibitionism is not one of them thank you very much), I will carry those memories with me for all eternity because it made us what we are today.
I hope that I have made you and the kids happy through out the years but I have to ask a few questions just to be certain. Was I the husband that you dreamed I would be? Did I serve you well as a lover, friend and partner? Was I a good father to our boys? Did I teach them how to be great men? What about daughter? Does she love me? Did we show her what a good marriage ought to look like? If the answer is yes, then trust that I have died a happy man, a good man worthy or your tears. However I hope that you have shed none. The thought of your pain hurts me more than words can say.
All as I ask is that you remember me fondly and tell our children stories about us in our youth . Sure, they probably know a great deal about us but tell them as much as you recall. I want them to know our history and where they come from especially if they're young when I die.
Also, I want you to promise me that you won't stop living. I want you to go out and have fun like we used to. I wish for you to find someone else that can make you happy on earth until we met again in the ever after (since you believe in it, I for one am a cynic and will only concede when I see it for myself, however, just this once, I would like to be wrong). Can you do that for me my brave Gryffindor? If only to make me happy and to give me peace?
Remember the book I used to read to our children? The Angel Gets His Wings? Well consider me your angel. I will watch over you and our children. I will be there to listen to you in times of need or despair and great sorry or joy. I will help you make the right decisions and ease all of your suffering when the pain becomes too much to bare alone. I may not be able to speak to you or hold you in my arms but I promise that you will feel my presence and love for you.
I beg you, please don't be sad. Just look back on your life together with fond memories while creating a few new memories of your own. That way when we meet again, we'll have a few stories to share with each other about the time we were separated.
All my love forever and always.
Your loving Husband,
P.S Zippy has the letters for the children. No matter how old they are please read it with them and share in memories of me together. They shouldn't read them alone.
Bright green eyes closed tightly as Harry held the letter to his heart. He knew that he would be reading it three times a day, every day for years and years to come.
Even in death, his dragon had found a way to say his last I love you.
He then took the blanket from off the back of the couch and laid down while still holding the letter and the picture tightly. Things would still be difficult for him in the years to come, no letter could erase the loss he had suffered but it would make things a little easier. However when he was feeling lonely or sad and needed someone to talk to he knew that Draco would be there for him.
In fact, he could feel him there already. As if he never left.
Harry Potter-Malfoy fell asleep moments later with a letter in one hand, a picture in the other and a smile on his face. Ten minutes later a satisfied Hermione Granger-Wesley came out of hiding. She had been in the darkened corner for the past hour, making sure that her friend didn't hurt himself. Whatever that letter was the person who wrote it had to be Draco. Only he could put a smile like that on Harry's face.
With a kiss to the sleeping mans forehead and a glance over her shoulder, Hermione headed home, knowing that her friend was going to ok. After all, he had a beautiful guardian angel named Draco to light is way.