Author: wellhalesbells | AO3: Calrissian18
Prompt: # 102 - Harry Potter talks to snakes. Draco Malfoy talks to peacocks. Together they fight crime!
Summary: One week. One case. A whole helluva lot of trouble.
Pairing(s): Harry/Draco, some Ginny/Harry.
Warnings: Noir crack, explicit het (I have never done this before, I don't know why this happened) but this means there’s top!het!Harry. Neither Harry nor I can draw.
Word Count: ~20,000
Author's Notes: This was not what it was supposed to be… like at all. When I took this prompt, I had something completely and utterly different in mind, something that might actually, uh, fit the prompt. It was supposed to be short, wildly ridiculous crack with a plot that I glued together. Poorly. This did not happen. I still hope you enjoy this, sisi_rambles, despite the fact that I don’t think it’s what either of us expected. *apologetic author cowers in the corner* Also, if you want to read this in a Walter Neff-ish type voice, well, that would be just gravy. Also also, I watched some peacock videos as research. You’re welcome. I don’t know if you guys are aware but peacocks make the most annoying sound ever. Thank you so much to my beta, aelfrics_cat. You did some truly amazing work on this, love, and you’ve made me that much prouder of it.
( The Case of the Problematic Pheasant )