Title: Dear Diary
Prompt: # 40
Summary: Ginny has a plan, Hermione has a suspicion and Harry...is a bit clueless.
Pairing(s): Ron/Hermione, Harry/Ginny, Harry/Draco, Ginny/Neville
Warning(s): (highlight for details): *fairly detailed section that includes almost het sex*
Word Count: 6,755
Author's Notes: Dear drarryxlover I tried very hard to ignore this prompt. I closed LJ several times before giving in and claiming it. This is told from Ginny's POV and I'd be lying if I didn't admit it gave me 10 kinds of fits at times. I wasn't able to get Ginny and Draco as friends – but I hope you'll still be pleased.
So many thanks to O and F for their brilliant beta skills, advice and several talk [retracted] off the ledge chats. You both deserve a gold star.
2 August 1998
It feels odd writing in a journal again, after what happened before. But so many things are running through my head that I can't talk about aloud...
Hermione helped me pick this one out at Scrivenshaft's Quill Shop a few weeks ago. She made sure it wasn't hexed and charmed it to respond only to me.
31 August 1998
Finally!! Tomorrow we go back to Hogwarts. It feels like we've been away for ages, but it's only been three months. The summer hasn't been exactly what I was hoping for. I was sure Harry would be at the Burrow with us, but he spent the beginning of the summer attending funerals and then most of the rest of the time with the re-building at Hogwarts. I wanted to help, but Mum said no. Of course Ron and Hermione got to be there. I asked Hermione who Harry spent his time with, since she and Ron are a couple. She said he mostly keeps to himself, but I don't believe her. I found out today that all of the eighth years are going to Hogwarts today. Harry said Headmistress McGonagall wanted them settled before the rest of the students arrived and since he was already at Hogwarts, it seemed silly to come home for supper just to leave again. I can't wait to be able to sit with Harry in the common room. I hope Ron doesn't act like a prat! It's been three weeks since our last kiss!!
12 September 1998
It's been nearly two weeks and I've spent exactly one evening with Harry! ONE!! McGonagall decided that the eighth years should be their own house and had rooms set up for them all the way on the ground floor! I thought maybe we'd at least have a few classes together, but no. Again, McGonagall decided that the eighth years needed "a different sort of education". Merlin! I get that they were the ones most active in the war, but it wasn't like the rest of us just sat around and twiddled our thumbs! I was just as active as Neville with the DA. Cripes, I think my mum has convinced McGonagall to make sure Harry and I aren't left alone. At least we had the other night together. It was wonderful, curled up on the couch in the common room, sneaking kisses and no Ron to badger us! I see us in my mind – years from now – curled up on the couch after a long day. The children finally asleep and we sit together, whispering about our day and then he undresses me....
25 September 1998
Quidditch tryouts are tomorrow!! Again, McGonagall and her stupid rules! "Eighth years are prohibited from participating as members of house Quidditch teams. It would be an unfair advantage for teams to have older, more experienced members." Complete rubbish! I think old Slughorn has his knickers in a twist because only three Slytherins came back, and Malfoy was the only one who was on the team before. Gryffindor would have had Harry, Ron and Dean. It's not all bad, at least I won't have to go back to Chaser and give up the Seeker spot to Harry. ♥
26 September 1998
Tryouts were today and if I do say so myself, I was amazing. I flew my best ever. Just knowing Harry was watching me – made me soar! I'm still not sure why he brought Malfoy with him to watch me fly. It was odd seeing him and Malfoy sitting with Ron and Hermione...all of them laughing and carrying on like lifelong mates. I asked Harry about it after tryouts and he just gave me his old standard, "we were just talking, Gin. Don't make a big deal of it." I know he tells me Malfoy has changed, but I don't buy it. I think he's up to something and Harry's just too nice for his own good. Hermione told me they are partnered in Potions. Harry says it's because no one else would, but I think that's rubbish. Harry's always been ridiculously enamoured with Malfoy. I'm just going to have to use all my charm to get him to pay attention to me!
"I thought we'd spend all day in Hogsmeade," Ginny pouted. "You promised..."
Harry ran his hand restlessly through his hair. "I know I did, Gin, but that was before Slughorn set the essay on Dittany. It's due on Monday. Two rolls of parchment," he practically whinged. "Do you realize how long it will take Draco and me to gather enough information on Dittany and its properties to fill two parchments?"
Ginny turned slowly to look directly at Harry. "Oh so it's Draco now, is it?"
"Merlin, Gin! It's his name. You don't expect me to work with him every day and call him Malfoy, do you?" He shook his head.
Inhaling slowly, Ginny straightened her shoulders. "I don't want to fight, Harry. I just want to spend time with you." She stepped closer and wrapped her arms around his waist, her head resting on his shoulder. She looked up at him through her lashes. "You want to spend time with me, don't you?" She slid her hand down and brushed Harry's arse. "We could have some fun."
"Christ, Gin!" Harry pulled away roughly. "Are you trying to get us expelled?"
"I'm trying to let you know that I'm open to more than just a few stolen kisses in the common room!" She clenched her teeth. "What do I have to do to get you to do more than kiss me? Don't you want to touch me?"
"Of...of course I do," Harry stammered. "Just not in the middle of the courtyard where everyone and his uncle can see us, including McGonagall."
Ginny moved closer again and whispered. "Then let's go to the Shrieking Shack on Saturday. We can pack a picnic. I'll bring a blanket and we can spend time together. Just the two of us." She winked and gave Harry what she hoped was her most provocative look. "No one to bother us. You can do anything..." she emphasized anything, "... you want."
"We can't do that," Harry stepped back again. "Ron and Hermione will be looking for us and I have to be back right after lunch to work on my essay with Draco."
"Draco, Draco, Draco!" Ginny shouted. Heads turned as her voice rose in volume. "Maybe you should just go to Hogsmeade with Draco! That way you can spend the whole damn day working on your essay!" She turned and stormed towards the castle, stopping after a few steps, looking back. "Why don't you just spend all your time with Draco and I'll find someone who wants to spend time with me!"
2 October 1998
Harry and I had the most horrible row yesterday. I'm not even sure how it started. We were in the courtyard, talking about going to Hogsmeade this weekend and all of a sudden Harry tells me that he's working with Malfoy on some stupid potions essay. He was whinging about having to write two parchments or some shite and the next thing I know, he's practically telling me he doesn't want to spend time with me. I can't figure out what is wrong with him. I damn near offered to let him make love to me and all he could do was talk about having to write the damn essay with Malfoy. I may have suggested that if he wasn't careful I'd find someone else to spend my time with. I thought for sure that would get his attention. He just stared at me.
I don't understand him. I know Ron and Hermione have had sex! You'd have to be blind not to know. For cripes sake, he's barely even touched my breasts. What is he waiting for? I'm beginning to think I'm just going to have to strip and throw myself at him just to get him to touch me! Maybe I'll drag him in an empty classroom and put his hand down my knickers.
10 October 1998
It's been a week since Harry and I had that ridiculous fight. I went to Hogsmeade with Callum Harper. He's a Chaser for Slytherin. I thought it would upset Harry. When I made sure he found out, he just asked me if I had a good time. ARRRRGGGHHH!!! He has to be one of the most oblivious men on earth. That's part of what I love and hate about him. But next weekend – it's time for action. Operation "Get Into Harry's Pants" has begun!!
17 October 1998
What a week it's been. I found an old classroom that no one ever goes into. I don't even think Filch remembers about it. For probably the first time in my life I was grateful my mum taught me cleaning spells. The room was an absolutely filthy dump. Once I had the room cleaned up, I convinced Winky I needed some extra bedding from the laundry room and I transfigured an old desk into a bed. It took some doing, but I finally talked Hermione into helping me with some charm work. She taught me how to make those awesome blue flames in a jar, so we'll have some atmosphere and it will help keep the room warm when we're naked.
I bribed a Ravenclaw to give me some butterbeers (we won't ever tell Harry what I had to do to get them), and I've pinched crackers and cheese from meal times. I'll get some fruit at dinner, and we'll be able to stay there all night. I can't wait to feel him against my body. Nothing between us.
I read a book this summer that said it hurts the first time, but I don't care. By this time tomorrow I will not be a virgin. I mean I think I'm still a virgin. It doesn't count if someone had his fingers there, right? I mean I wouldn't let anyone but Harry make love to me...but last year there was that one time when I was pretty sure we were going to die. Besides, Harry was off chasing Merlin knows what and Michael was here. No, I'm still a virgin...at least until tomorrow.
"I don't know why I have to be blindfolded, Gin." Harry sounded cross. "We're already under my invisibility cloak. Can't you just tell me where we're going?"
"It's a surprise, Harry," she replied, checking her temper. "If I told you, then it wouldn't be, would it?" She squeezed his hand. "Trust me; you're going to love it."
They walked down the quiet hallway, the only sound their shoes scuffing on the stone hallway, Ginny smiled to herself. "We're almost there, just about five more feet...and stop." She pulled the cloak off and waved her wand. "Alohomora."
She pulled Harry into the room, whispered the incantation to light the jars with blue flames and then levitated them so they bobbed around the room. "Ready?"
Harry nodded, and she stepped behind him, untied the blindfold and waited.
He looked around the room, his brow creased in apparent confusion. "What is this?"
Ginny wrapped her arms around Harry's waist and slid around to stand in front of him. "I've hardly seen you this year. I wanted to spend some time alone with you. Just us."
Harry smiled. "Gin, this is brilliant." He hesitated, licking his lips, then lowered his head and captured her mouth in a soft kiss. His hands slid down her back, and she pressed in closer as the kiss deepened. When they finally stepped apart, their faces were flushed, and their breathing was quick and shallow.
"I have a picnic, if you're hungry."
Harry nodded. "Sure."
Ginny took his hand and pulled him to the edge of the blanket. "Take your shoes off and get comfortable." She slipped out of her loafers. They sat on the soft blankets and Ginny began to take some food from a basket, watching Harry as he looked around the room. She saw his eyes settle on the bed and smiled as pink stained his cheekbones.
She put some cheese on a cracker and held it up to his mouth. "Taste," she said softly. He took the cracker in his mouth, studying her as she slowly lifted her finger to her own mouth, wrapping her lips around it and slowly pulling it out. Harry's eyes widened.
"Not very hungry." He reached for her, and delighted, Ginny shifted so she was straddling Harry's lap, kissing his neck. She could feel that he was hard and she pushed down.
"Gin," he said roughly.
"I want you," she whispered against his skin. "I've wanted you for so long."
"But..." Harry protested weakly.
Ginny sat back just enough to reach between them. She unbuttoned her blouse, pulling it off and tossing it into a corner. When she reached for the hem of his tee shirt, he hesitantly lifted his arms, his lower lip between his teeth. She pulled it off before leaning in against him, her bra the only thing between them.
"Ginny," he moaned, his voice rough. "Fuck."
She laughed lightly, grasping his hand and setting it on her breast. "That's the plan." She pushed his fingers inside her bra, and he cupped her breast, his thumb rubbing tentatively across her nipple. She watched his face, the way he stared at his hand moving on her, his mouth slightly open, his brow furrowed in concentration. Feeling a sudden tenderness for his obvious inexperience, Ginny took his other hand and moved it to her back. He fumbled with the hooks until Ginny laughed and removed the offending clothing herself.
"You're so beautiful." He swallowed, his Adam's apple moving before he haltingly leaned forward, pulling her tight nipple into his mouth. She arched against him, pressing into his erection.
"The bed," she moaned. Climbing to her feet, knowing the bottom of the skimpy skirt she'd worn was at eye level, she turned to walk away. He grabbed her around her legs, pressing a kiss to the back of her thigh.
"Please," she begged, pulling him to his feet and towards the bed. "I want you." She stopped at the side of the bed, her eyes locked on his, and reached for the button on his jeans. He caught his breath, and the muscles in his stomach trembled. Slowly she undid each button, her hands intentionally brushing against his cock, straining against the front of his pants. Harry wasn't small, and her heart sped at the sight. In a swift movement, she slid her hands inside his jockeys and pushed them down, along with his jeans. She was on her knees before him, amazed at her own aggressiveness. His erection was flat against his abdomen. She closed her eyes and held her breath before quickly running her tongue along the length of it.
"Oh, God," Harry panted. "Please, Gin. Suck me."
Ginny pulled back and stood quickly, her nose wrinkled. He tasted...sweaty, and smelled musky, and she didn't like it. "Erm, maybe later. Don't you want to finish undressing me?"
Harry blinked, as if surprised by the request. It took him a moment to move, but he finally responded by pushing her playfully back onto the bed. He moved over her, and his penis trailed along her stomach. It was wet and kind of squishy, but she tried to ignore it. He kissed her again, his hands coming up to knead her breasts.
"Not so rough," she said. "They're not made of clay!"
"Oh, sorry," Harry stammered and loosed his grip.
Ginny's pelvis was throbbing with need. She took one of his hands. "Please touch me," she whispered. "But gently." She pushed it down and pressed it between her legs. Her knickers were wet and she thought she'd explode if he didn't touch her now!
Harry jerked his hand back. "Wha? Wait, I..."
Ginny shifted and pulled her skirt up to her waist. "Take these off," she ordered, patience gone. She pointed at the tiny pink knickers. "I'm so wet I'm going to explode soon."
Harry stared, as if he was frozen.
"Oh for Merlin's sakes! Must I do it all?" She pushed Harry to the side and shimmied out of the slip of nylon. She lay back down, pulling Harry on top of her. His erection had flagged a bit, which wasn't very flattering, but she was sure that once he was touching her and felt how ready she was, he'd get over the shock.
"Now," she directed. "Put your hand between my legs and slide a finger in."
Harry moved his hand tentatively, stopping at the soft hair that covered her mound. Ginny spread her legs, waiting for him to move again. After what seemed an eternity, she took his hand and pressed it into her dampness and attempted to get his finger on her clit.
Harry sat up. All the colour in his face had faded and he looked horrified. "I can't," he spluttered. "I...it's...oh god. Gin, I'm sorry. I just...I can't." He jumped off the bed, scrambling into his pants and jeans. He raced around the room, a bit frantic. "My shirt, where the fuck is my shirt?" He finally found it and pulled it over his head.
Ginny sat on the bed, blankets clutched to her bare chest, staring as the man she loved ran about like a rat in a cage. "Harry?"
He stopped and looked at her. "I'm sorry...I thought...I wanted...I really did..." he spluttered. "I'm sorry," He bolted from the room.
Ginny sat on the bed, numb. She wanted to cry, but no tears would come. She moved slowly and slid on her knickers. Mechanically she dressed and started to clean up the picnic. Suddenly rage was building up inside her. She kicked at the blanket and the remnants of the picnic flew across the floor, dishes breaking and food splattering the walls. She kicked and raged until she had nothing left and then she sat down heavily. She saw Harry's invisibility cloak near the door and for just a moment considered using Incendio on it, but couldn't ruin one of the few things he had from his parents. When she wondered why it mattered to her, she realized she still loved him. The tears finally came.
18 October 1998
WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED? I JUST FUCKING DON'T UNDERSTAND!!!
"He just left, Hermione," Ginny cried. "One minute we were about to make love and he suddenly jumps up, gets dressed and leaves." Ginny wiped her nose with a tissue. "He left me sitting there...naked!"
Hermione handed Ginny another tissue. "Did he say anything before he left?"
"Oh he stuttered something about being sorry and then he just kept saying 'I can't'. It was going so well."
"Ginny..." Hermione said. "Even the first time Ron and I did it, it went far from well. It was awkward and a bit embarrassing. Actually it was awkward several times. It takes practice. Now, tell me again – and this time skip the fantasy and stick to the facts." She patted Ginny's arm affectionately.
Ginny sighed. "Okay, maybe things weren't going perfectly. I mean, he seemed like he wanted to...but when he did more than kiss me, he was..." She sighed. "I don't know. It was like he was turned on as long as he didn't have to touch me."
"So when you were kissing everything was fine?"
"Yes, but when I tried to get him to touch me anywhere but my breasts, he freaked out."
Hermione pursed her lips. "What about when you touched him?"
"Well, I slid his pants down and then I sort of licked him." She buried her face in her hands.
Hermione laughed. "Well, he liked that, didn't he?"
Ginny nodded, without raising her head. "He asked me to..."
"To..." Hermione prompted.
"Suck him," Ginny whispered.
"And did you?"
Ginny looked horrified. "Of course not! Oh Merlin, please tell me you don't do that to my brother."
Hermione stiffened. "We're not, now or anytime in the future, discussing what your brother and I do or do not do together. You came to me. To discuss Harry. Which I, frankly, didn't want to do, but you begged."
"You're his best friend! I certainly couldn't talk to Ron about this!"
"Noted and understood," Hermione replied, relaxing. She pursed her lips.
"What?" Ginny asked anxiously.
"I'm not sure. Let me think about this. Have you tried to talk to Harry since?"
Ginny shook her head. "I can't. That's why I wanted to see you." She looked down at the ground, her fingers picking at her jeans. "You'd tell me if he was seeing someone else, right?"
Hermione gave her a quick hug. "He's not seeing anyone else. Outside of the three of us, the only one he spends any measurable amount of time with is Malfoy, and that's mainly for potions and transfigurations homework." She stood. "I need to get back or Ron will have too many questions. You're okay?"
Ginny smiled weakly. "I will be."
15 November 1998
It's been four weeks since our disastrous night in the class-room and not only are we not speaking, he won't even fucking look at me!! If I didn't love him so much....arrrggghh! I'm not sure what to do anymore. If he can't even bring himself to LOOK at me...
Hermione tells me to be patient. She keeps saying that she's working on her theory. In the mean time I'm getting more and more impatient. I still have his invisibility cloak. I know I should return it to him, but I'm waiting for him to come to me.
Ginny waited for Hermione that night. She and Ron had gone off somewhere, (she didn't want to give too much thought to where or for what), but Hermione had given her an odd look at breakfast that morning, and she wanted to understand what it had meant. She stationed herself outside of the eighth year dorms and waited.
The problem was that eighth years didn't have a curfew, and she did. As the minutes toward her curfew ticked down, she was torn between thinking she should have brought Harry's cloak on this outing and wishing she hadn't bothered at all. She was about to give up, certain Filch and his ugly cat would end up finding her there, when she saw her brother and his girlfriend approaching down the hall. They were cuddling; there was no other word for it, and seeing them made her throat feel tight. That should be her and Harry, walking along, leaning into one another, fingers entwined. It wasn't fair that it wasn't.
Ron saw her first.
"What are you doing here, Gin? Isn't it past your curfew?"
"Going to report me?" She knew she sounded snotty but right then she didn't care.
"Were you waiting for us, Ginny?"
"I'd like to talk to you," she gave her brother a level look, "alone."
"It's about Harry then," Ron said. "And I can skip that." He gave Hermione a swift kiss and muttered "Giant Squid". A door appeared and he entered the dorms.
"Giant Squid?" Ginny giggled.
"I think Hagrid set the password." Hermione gave Ginny an expectant look. "What did you need, Ginny? Is it about Harry?"
"Well, yes. He scarcely talks to me, Hermione, and he won't look me in the eye…"
"Ginny, can't you understand that he might be embarrassed?"
"Him? I'm the one he left sitting naked!"
"Ginny, hush." Hermione looked up and down the empty hallway. "You never know who might be able to hear you."
Ginny huffed, but lowered her voice. "Hermione, I don't know what to do."
Hermione sighed, and her expression turned almost pitying. "Ginny, I think maybe…" She hesitated.
"Maybe what?" Ginny demanded.
"Maybe you ought to just… let it go."
"What do you mean?" Ginny asked, alarmed. "Let what go?"
Hermione reached out and touched her arm. "Let Harry go."
Ginny felt her heart drop into her stomach. "What? Why? You know something, don't you? Is he seeing another girl?"
Hermione shook her head. "I don't know anything, not really. And no. I can tell you that he absolutely is not seeing another girl."
"Then what is it?" Ginny very nearly stomped her foot, she was so agitated. "I knew it; you do know something, don't you?"
"I already said I don't," Hermione replied. "You could be a bit more understanding. He's been through so much, Ginny, just in his life. Not to mention the war..."
"I know all of that. And I have been understanding."
Hermione arched a disbelieving brow.
"I have!" Ginny insisted. "And you still aren't telling me what you know!"
Hermione hedged. "I may have… some suspicions, that's all."
"Suspicions about what? Hermione, you have to tell me."
Hermione lifted her head, her expression firm. "No, Ginny, I don't."
Ginny gaped. "But, I thought… you need to help me!"
"I'm trying to help you," Hermione said, unruffled. "I told you I thought you should drop this, and let Harry go. I know it's hard for you to hear, but that's my advice." Her face softened. "Even if I do have some suspicions, Ginny, Harry is my best friend. I'd have to talk to him before anyone else." Ginny huffed, exasperated. "I'd do the same for you," Hermione added.
Ginny leaned back against the wall, defeated. "I know you would. I just… I love him so much, Hermione."
Hermione stared at her, thoughtful. It felt long enough that Ginny fought the need to fidget.
"Ginny," she said finally. "I know you think you're in love with Harry. You have for a long time. But are you in love with the person, or the idea of him? Because, I'm not sure you know him well enough to be sure."
Ginny was so stunned she didn't speak as Hermione murmured the password and disappeared into the dorm.
30 November 1998
Last night I had the strangest talk with Hermione. She told me maybe I should just move on with my life. Forget about Harry. How can you forget about the person you KNOW you're meant to be with? She says I need to be understanding about everything he's been through in his life and the war and everything...
But who better to understand him? I may not have been with him much last year, but I know things were difficult. But then Hermione said the strangest thing. She asked me if I was in love with Harry or the idea of Harry. What the hell kind of question was that?
3 December 1998
I followed Harry last night when he left the Great Hall after dinner. I just want to know where he's going. Maybe he really is seeing another girl and Hermione won't tell me. I know I shouldn't have done it, but I used his invisibility cloak. I waited in the hallway until he came out and I followed him.
He didn't meet another girl, but he did meet Malfoy in the library. It looked like they were working on something for Transfigurations. I know one thing – he certainly didn't look like he was missing me. He and Malfoy were getting along quite well.
8 December 1998
I've followed Harry for the last five nights after dinner. All he's done so far is meet up with Malfoy in the library or go back to his common room. I tried to follow him inside, but Neville came dashing up and got in right before the door closed.
Tonight Harry went out to the Quidditch Pitch and I thought it would be my chance to talk to him. But he met up with Malfoy and they flew around together. I'm getting tired of waiting. I'm going to confront him soon.
She'd been wandering the halls under Harry's cloak for what felt like hours. Her curfew had come and gone. It actually was sort of fun to stand off to one side under the cloak and watch people walk by, listening to them talking to each other when they thought no one else could hear. She understood what Harry saw in it. You could sure learn a lot about people that way.
But right now any potential information she might learn about her fellow students took a back place to her growing concern about where Harry might be. She'd seen him at dinner, where he'd once again ignored her. And she'd seen him in the library with his head together with Malfoy. Malfoy had been whispering something, and Harry had been nodding, an odd expression on his face. She'd seen them leave the library and followed, then lost them along the hall that had led to the Room of Requirement. Everyone knew the room no longer opened after being destroyed during the final battle, so they couldn't be in there. But where?
Once the halls had cleared, she'd walked up and down past the tapestry's half a dozen times and was about to give up when she heard a furtive sound behind the one of Barnabas the Barmy. Not a voice, exactly. More like… a moan. She smirked. Someone was out after hours, doing something they shouldn't. Everyone knew about the alcove behind that tapestry; couples had been sneaking in there since her parent's time, although she really didn't want to think about that. But it might be nice to see who it was, since she couldn't find Harry anyway. Walking as quietly as she could, Ginny went to the near corner and slipped behind the tapestry her back against the wall until the spot where it turned toward the deep alcove at the back. And there was someone back there, all right. Two someone's. And even in the dim light she could see Malfoy's white blond hair.
He had his back to her, but Ginny grinned in delight. Oh, to have something on Malfoy! He was standing with his back to her, kissing a person whose face she couldn't see. But their arms were around Malfoy, one hand on his nape, and as her eyes adjusted to the dark, she could see legs in the v left where Malfoy's were spread.
Ginny's eyes widened. It was a boy! Malfoy was kissing another boy! Of course, there had been rumours, but she'd never heard anything definitive. Well, this was pretty definite. Malfoy was gay. He was kissing a boy. Actually, he was sucking on the boy's neck, but she still couldn't see who it was. Ginny slid along the wall silently. If she could just get close enough to see –
"Stop, Draco. You're going to leave a mark."
Malfoy laughed, a dark, sexy sound, even as Ginny felt the floor shift under her feet. No, that couldn't be…
"What's the matter, Potter? Afraid someone will see and wonder what you've been up to?"
Ginny felt like the wall at her back was the only thing preventing her from falling straight onto the floor. Malfoy had said Potter. But it couldn't be. Not Harry, not her Harry.
"I'd just as soon not advertise, all right? It's no one's business what I do."
"Or who does you," Malfoy said, a smirk in his voice. He shifted slightly, and any hope Ginny might have held disappeared. Harry leaned against the wall, his shirt half out of his trousers, his head back, and Malfoy leaned in, his mouth pressing against a bright red spot just above Harry's collar.
"Okay, so, in the interests of not leaving evidence…" Malfoy reached out with his long fingered hand, and pressed it right over Harry's groin, pressing against an obvious bulge in his trousers.
"Merlin, Draco." Harry spread his legs further, arching into the touch. He looked tense and yet anxious, and when Malfoy leaned in and kissed him on the lips, she saw Harry open his mouth, saw the enthusiasm he put into kissing him back. Had Harry ever kissed her like that? She didn't think he had.
She wanted to leave, wanted to run screaming down the hall. She also wanted to march right over there and yank Malfoy's hands off of Harry. But she was frozen in spot, unable to do anything but watch as Malfoy's dexterous fingers went to work on Harry's fly, unbuttoning and unzipping his trousers, then pushing them down until his cock popped free. It was hard and red, and when Malfoy curled his fingers around it, Harry moaned into his mouth. He pulled free of the kiss.
"Please, Draco." He thrust forward, moving his prick through Malfoy's fingers. "Please."
"Please, what, Potter?" Malfoy pressed his open mouth to Harry's throat, and Ginny could see his tongue on Harry's skin.
"Please just… harder. Squeeze and... oh, God. Yes!"
Malfoy began to move his hand up and down, squeezing hard enough his knuckles were white, twisting around the head each time he reached it. "Like that?"
"Yes. Just… don't stop."
"But, what if…" Malfoy lowered himself to his knees with a grace that made Ginny hate him. He continued to move his hand on Harry, but now he was looking up at him. "What if I blow you, instead? Would that be all right?"
"Gods, yes!" Harry thrust forward, and Malfoy put one hand on his hip.
"No gagging me," he said, then slipped his free hand into Harry's open trousers. Whatever he did made Harry gasp, his hands clenching into fists. "I can take all of you, but you have to behave yourself."
"I promise," Harry all but babbled. "I promise, anything. Just, suck me, Draco. Please."
Ginny's head filled with white noise. 'Suck me', he'd said. Just like he'd said to her. And she hadn't wanted to. But Malfoy…
He leaned in and opened his mouth, taking Harry's cock in a smooth, practiced motion, and the sound that left Harry's mouth was unlike anything Ginny had ever heard him make before. He sounded… so needy, so wanton. But then he did something that made her heart, which was already wounded, crack open so completely she was amazed they didn't hear it.
He lifted his hand to Malfoy's head, gently sifting his fingers through the silky blond hair, and whispered, "I love you, Draco. I love you."
Malfoy pulled off for just a moment, looking up the length of Harry's body. "You love it when I suck your cock," Malfoy said, but he sounded surprised.
Harry's hand slid down the side of his face. "No. I love you. I'm afraid you're just going to have to get used to it."
Malfoy lifted one hand, and Harry caught it, linking their fingers. "I'll make an effort," Malfoy said, and Harry smiled slowly. He glanced down at his hard prick meaningfully, arching an eyebrow, and Malfoy chuckled before he pulled him back into his mouth.
Ginny backed away, stumbling once before she righted herself. She pushed out from behind the tapestry and ran down the hall, not even caring if they heard. All she could see before her was Harry's face, so full of adoration, as he looked down at the man kneeling at his feet.
She knew he'd never looked at her like that. Not ever.
19 December 1998
It's nearly time to leave for Christmas hols and Harry and I still aren't talking. I've stopped following him, but have been watching him in the Great Hall. The eighth years all eat together and I really never thought much of it. Since that night I've been watching him and I see little things that I probably wouldn't have paid attention to before. When Harry sits across the table from Draco, I see him give Draco small looks that at one time wouldn't have meant anything to me, but now I see them as the same looks Ron and Hermione share when they think no one is paying attention. That look that says "you're my everything". Or when they're sitting next to each other and maybe Harry is talking to Ron. I see him reach over, under the table, and lay his hand on Draco's leg.
I used to tell myself that Harry wasn't raised to show affection and that was why he didn't do things like that when we were together.
Hermione keeps looking at me across the Hall, trying to catch my eye and I know she wonders if I'm okay or if I've figured out what she wouldn't tell me. I won't look at her though. It still hurts too much.
27 December 1998
It was odd not having Harry here for Christmas. I finally talked to Hermione, before she and Ron left to spend New Year's with her parents.
She made me realize that I'm not nearly as upset as one would expect. When Michael Corner kissed Natalie MacDonald I hit him with a Stinging Hex that left welts on his body for a week. And yet I watched Draco give Harry a blow-job and walked away.
Maybe I was in love with the idea of being in love with Harry Potter...
1 January 1999
Neville and his Gran came over for our New Year's Eve party. George put together an amazing fireworks display and Neville and I watched it together. He asked if he could sit with me on the train back to Hogwarts next week. He really is sweet.
27 February 1999
"Thanks for meeting me," Ginny said as Harry approached. "I was afraid you wouldn't come."
Harry smiled. "I was a bit nervous. Wasn't sure I wanted to spend the better part of the afternoon with bat-sized bogeys flying from my nose." He looked down at the floor. When he looked up, Ginny could see regret in his eyes. "I really am sorry, Gin. I never, ever meant to hurt you."
"I know that now." She poked him in the chest. "Although for quite some time I could have cheerfully cast a blue ball hex on you."
Harry grimaced. "Glad you got past that!"
"So... Malfoy?" Ginny shook her head with a laugh. "It should have been obvious, but I'll admit that took me by surprise."
"I know you don't want to hear it, but I think in some way it was Draco all along. So, Neville?"
Ginny's smile widened. "Well, he did take me to my first real dance, you know."
"I'm glad you're happy. I really am, Gin." Harry moved hesitantly, but pulled Ginny into a hug. He stepped back. "Is there something I should know?" he asked, looking at her stomach.
"Oh Merlin, let's not get that rumour started," she laughed, pulling a package from under her robe, thrusting it in his direction.
Harry wiped his hand across his brow in an exaggerated gesture. "Thank God! I was afraid you were commandeering me to tell Ron for you." He looked down at the package, brow furrowed. "What's this?"
He opened the end of the package while Ginny spoke.
"I know I should have given this back some time ago, but...well for the longest time I wasn't exactly sure you deserved it."
He pulled his invisibility clock from the package. He looked at her, mouth agape and tears filled his eyes. "I wasn't sure I'd ever see this again." He shrugged. "When I realized I'd left it in the room after I... left. Well, I was afraid you might have destroyed it."
Ginny crossed her arms. "Oh believe me, I considered it." She reached out and patted his arm. "But I couldn't destroy one of the few things you have from your parents."
He nodded. "Thanks."
She turned, as if to leave, and stopped. She looked directly at Harry. "Are you happy?"
"I really am." He looked embarrassed. "I'm sorry if that hurts you, Gin, but I'm happier than I've ever been. Draco is like my other half. I'd really like it if you two could get along. Even Ron's come around."
"We all just want to see you happy, Harry. And it would hurt, if I wasn't so happy with Neville." She sighed. "I won't make any promises, but I think in time we'll all be friends. But if he ever hurts you, I will castrate him... with a teaspoon."
Harry shuddered. "Duly noted." He kissed her on the top of her head. "And that's the Ginny Weasley we all know and love." He slung an arm around her shoulder and they walked to the Great Hall together. "And if he ever hurts me, you can have what's left after Ron and Hermione finish with their threats, none of which were quite so colourful!"
Ginny grinned up at him. "Oh, you know me," she said lightly. "I've always been able to deliver a threat." She bumped him with her hip.
He laughed. "Truer words..."
They grinned at each other as they entered the Hall.